Eating and Dining – One and the Same?

Eating is essential for our survival. What we eat varies depending on where we live, food availability, our ability to purchase or otherwise acquire food, and other factors including personal taste and religious restrictions. Most of us eat when we’re hungry - three times a day if we’re lucky. Thank goodness some of us enjoy shopping for the freshest local produce or the best deals, preparing nutritious meals, and washing up the dishes. 

Dining takes eating to a higher level. We take the time to taste the delicate balance of flavors; we savor the gentle waft of various herbs and spices; we bask in listening to interesting conversations; and we enjoy the camaraderie of connecting with family and friends. The bonus to these actions is better digestion and nutrient absorption. 

We were recently included in a beautiful celebration of the Twelfth Night of Christmas. The friends who invited us to this annual event know how to host a dinner party to perfection. I am always amazed at the originality and eye-stopping vision when I first walk into the intimate dining room. The ambiance of the room and the meticulous eye to detail fills my mind with imagining what we will be eating that evening. I love food, especially delicious food, as it naturally leads to scintillating conversation.

For a variety of reasons, we usually don’t take the time to enjoy dining. This is a shame. We have made soccer practice, hockey games, working a second job and other activities priorities; however, we don’t make sitting down at the dinner table as a family or community the same priority. Eating on the fly, gulping down a pizza or heating up leftovers have become the norm. We should look at these pick-up meals as an exception to the family meal, but as with too many abnormalities, we normalize them and suddenly they’re acceptable.

Never before has it been so important to enjoy a meal together as a group. Families need to bond as do all relationships if they are to become and remain healthy. The world is a scary place for most of us and we must seek comfort by connecting with other people. The dinner table is the perfect place to do this. 

A few simple guidelines will help you move from eating to dining with surprisingly little effort. The first step is to decide that connecting with your family is important. Children should be able to manage forks and knives with some dexterity by the time they reach the age of 4 or 5. Teaching them to use cutlery correctly can be tricky, especially today when parents find this simple maneuver a challenge. 

Although many people don’t think it matters how forks and knives are handled, it is important. Aside from making it easier to convey the food from the plate to the mouth with spilling, smearing or otherwise missing the target, it also is less of a visual distraction to your fellow diners. Who wants to watch people gobble down food like animals? It may be efficient, but it’s not good manners. I can assure you that an added benefit to proper table manners is the increased chance of landing a better job. Yes, interviews are often conducted over a meal. This choice is not because the potential boss is worried that you may be hungry. It is because the simple task of eating should be done easily and go unnoticed. If such a simple task cannot be completed with little effort, a boss might wonder what other simple tasks the applicant failed to learn as a child.

Another critical reason to dine together is to develop the skill of civil discourse – learning to speak without the need to raise your voice. Discussions should be respectful. Avoid topics that are likely to ignite an argument. There is nothing wrong with a lively debate, but the dinner table may not be the best place to do this. After all, for optimal digestion and nutrient absorption, you need to be calm and relaxed. Save the debate for another time. Conversations can allow everyone to voice their opinion, share what we’ve been doing for the day, and discuss how we feel about our lives and our relationships.

We can also enjoy the visuals of a beautifully set table, the smells emanating from the kitchen and taste of a delicious home-cooked meal. We take the time to wash our hands and clean up before we sit down. This is out of respect for those who allowed us to enjoy the fruits of their labors. It is also out of respect for our fellow diners. They are ones, after all, who have to look at us. We should try to look our best, or at least look respectable.

We all must eat to survive. If we want to just get through life, eating is sufficient. If we want to savor life and thrive, then taking the time to turn eating into dining will not disappoint. Bon appetit!